If you are too busy to read the entire article, skip to the crux here.
The way you treat happiness will determine the way happiness treats you.
While every individual’s aims and goals are unique, most of us can agree that at the end of the day, people want to be happy and at peace (Note: Happiness and pleasure are doppelgangers, don’t mistake one for the other). Although money, a perfect relationship, a stable job, a loving family, fame, etc., are other popular choices, the promise of happiness is the root of all these. Curiously, for a species that claims to value happiness so much, we spend a significantly large chunk of time finding reasons to be unhappy.
Etymologically speaking, it’s amusing (and un-fitting) that the word ‘happy’ originates from the word ‘hap,’ which means ‘good luck.’ Luck is an external entity, something beyond our control – unfortunately, the way people treat happiness is very similar. People chase after promotions, recognition, love, sex, and many other external entities in the quest for happiness, not realizing that these are just temporary fixes to a more significant issue that needs to be addressed. If you keep chasing happiness in things outside of you, you will keep chasing it your entire life.
Happiness as a choice
You would be surprised at how often happiness is a choice. Long ago, I asked a friend of mine about the most recent time she was very happy. “A couple of days ago,” she answered. I then asked her the reason behind it, curious to know about the big event which made her happy. Her answer had me reconsider my notion of happiness.
“I ate a lot of chocolate ice cream,” she stated. At that moment, I realized the importance of finding happiness in the little things in life. Many people want to be very happy only when something significantly good happens. But by living that way, they sharply dilute the happiness life offers. Because life does have a lot more happiness to offer, you must be mindful enough to ‘take’ it and not feel guilty about it. In this regard, appreciation for what you have is a great place to start.
Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.
Eckhart Tolle
Perspective matters
So what can you do to be a happier person? – Before we examine this, let us take a closer look at the title of this article.
In my opinion, the phrase – “the pursuit of happiness” is very misleading. Because the word ‘pursue’ means you are chasing after something, typically something you don’t already have and something outside you. But the truth is, lasting happiness and peace start with you. It’s a state of being that is inseparable from you. Maybe the right people can guide you to it, but it’s you and you alone who can find it within. No one can find it for you or give it to you.
In fact, a lot of times, I advocate being happy for no apparent reason – like a child. Therefore, as you are reading this article (and I highly appreciate your patience for coming this far, considering how short our attention spans have become because of social media) I ask that you smile, even if you don’t feel like it. Because while we know that we smile when happy, research has shown evidence of the opposite phenomenon too. i.e. There is a spark of happiness and contentment in us when we smile.
Conclusion
Ultimately, at the end of the day, happiness is a choice more often than you realize, sometimes it is just as much a choice as the suit you want to put on. (I had the temptation to name the article “The pur-suit of happiness” but didn’t want to expose you to my flawed puns, but there, I did it anyway.)
All said and done, it is no secret that change takes time. You can’t expect the old you to disappear and the new you to appear in the span of a day. (This isn’t your Instagram story.) There is a good chance you won’t wake up tomorrow a lot happier than you used to be, with all your troubles vanishing like a fart in the wind.
But over time, as you start actively working on forming a proper and healthy perspective about the things that make you unhappy and consciously choose happiness, you begin to see things in a whole new light. The fog starts to lift and you will get to a state of mind where you can see the enormous repository of happiness and peace within you, the sight of which was previously obscured. More happiness to you 🙂
Until next time, The Taciturn.
